The Owls Are Exactly What They Seem
Posted: January 12, 2012 Filed under: Herman Cain, Jon Huntsman, Mitt Romney, Newt Newt, Rick Perry, Ron Paul, Santorum, Sarah 1 Comment »Nice Game Change mash-up. I’m always on the lookout for déjà-vu-all-over-again subplots and scenarios in how campaigns play out. When it looked like Rick Perry was about to jump in, I threw out the possibility on the message board that 2012 might turn out to be 1980 all over again: complacent Democrats get trounced when they foolishly convince themselves that the other party’s buffoon will be enough to distract from the economy. (Buffoon from the vantage point of complacent Democrats—I think the idea that Reagan was a buffoon has been pretty much discarded, even by avowed enemies.) It was an excellent analogy…right up to the moment when Rick Perry jumped in. Anyway, I just finished David Pietrusza’s 1960: LBJ vs. JFK vs. Nixon (The Epic Campaign That Forged Three Presidencies), and here’s Mitt Romney 50 years ago, when his name was Stuart Symington: “the most possible of all nominees, but he was also a man lacking any deep and abiding political philosophy…his appeal is largely to the older-line professional politicians, and their hope is that the convention will find objections with each of the other candidates and agree on Symington.” (I’m conflating three different speakers there.)
I hope we didn’t wait too long to get this going, Scott—I worry that we missed all the good stuff. Perry’s “One, two, can I get a lifeline?”, Romney’s “for Pete’s sake” hissy fit, supernova nice-guy Newt (his turn at the top was easily the highlight for me so far—I really think Obama/Gingrich would have been as endlessly entertaining as last time), and just about everything to do with Herman Cain. I still periodically check the Cain Solutions for some guidance and wisdom in these troubled times, but it’s down altogether right now, before it ever got off the ground. I’m shocked and disappointed.
Another problem, believe it or not, is that I don’t despise any of these guys. Not even close, in fact. As I said earlier, Huntsman’s about the worst, but he’s just bland and phony. Ditto the current frontrunner, although I find him more agreeable than Huntsman. I should despise Santorum for some of his caveman ideas, but for some reason—the Jimmy Olsen vibe he gives off?—I don’t. Perry just makes me laugh; he’s the guy I want to have a beer with, just before we get out our shotguns and go shoot up a bunch of stuff. I like Paul, although that requires not thinking about the newsletters (or believing his explanations, which I don’t). And I think I fundamentally, completely get a kick out of Gingrich. Most of the time I find his ideas-guy blather and monumental self-regard engaging, and the other Newt, the reptilian hatchet man, well, I like having a late-model Nixon in our midst. Last time I had Hillary to hate on for the first half, and then someone came along to fill that role beyond my wildest dreams. I need some more of that to bring this thing to life.
Aqua Seafoam Shame
Posted: January 9, 2012 Filed under: Jon Huntsman, Pop Music 2 Comments »One thing I’m pretty sure Phil and I share is an inability to warm up in any way to Jon Huntsman. For me, he verges on smug, like in Sunday’s debate when he, more than once, berated the others on the stage for their “political spin.” A total commonplace for a presidential debate, obviously, nothing to get too worked up about, but something in his demeanour when he said it, the way he held himself above the fray, repeating the words like just the fact of him saying them was proof alone that he’s a man to be taken more seriously than the others because… well, because he’s Jon Huntsman and there are wise people in various quarters pining for the guy to be much better than he actually is? I don’t know, in any event, he gets on my nerves. (I realize that what I just described could be said about virtually every candidate on that stage, if not every candidate who ever set foot on any stage. Perhaps it’s his body language I’m responding to here. When I guffawed on one such occasion regarding his charge of “spin,” Jackie chimed in: “He seems slimy.”) His Chinese moment was okay, though — so odd to hear something like that at a Republican debate, and it caused genuine bafflement all around.
I’m ambivalent, on the other hand, about his rock credentials. I mean to say, I’m literally split down the middle on them. I can think of four instances in which his clear interest in rock has come to light, and by my calculations, he’s currently batting .500.
1) The beyond awkward Cobain reference in that early debate, in which he sort of cross-pollinated Romney (author of No Apologies) and Kurt. To me, it sounded exceptionally rehearsed, and it fell flat on that stage regardless. 0 for 1.
(Note: I do actually smile a bit at his later explanation: “You can’t say ‘no apologies’ on the 20th anniversary and not have Kurt Cobain come to mind.”)
2) His advocacy of Captain Beefheart — yup, he’s a fan. This one’s weird and interesting enough that I thought for sure it was a joke when I first came across it. It’s not. 1 for 2.
3) As reported today in Mother Jones: “The next generation deserves trust in government. We have no trust left. The next generation deserves a Congress with term limits. We need a candidate who’s going to lead a Grateful Dead tour of this country, who rallies the support of the American people in getting term limits and closing the revolving door of lobbyists.” Wait a second: Grateful Dead? Term limits? Sorry, does not compute. 1 for 3.
4) Out of that same MJ piece comes word that Huntsman was once in a seventies prog rock band called Wizard. No relation to Roy Wood’s Wizzard, of course, but pretty cool just the same. The snapshot below confirms it — that’s Huntsman in the top right hand corner. Santorum should fold up his sweater vest and go home. 2 for 4.
Despite Huntsman’s current status as the People’s Choice for not-Mitt in New Hampshire, he will be gone shortly. Hopefully not without squeezing in one more reference on his way out the door so we can break this tie once and for all (engineered the first Poly Styrene solo album? played maracas for a time in the Little River Band? copy-edited Gina Arnold in the mid-80s? The mind rather boggles at the possibilities…).
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